Poem · Uncategorized

I have a dream

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now (Bill Cosby). Life waits for no one. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans (John Lennon). Hard work pays off. In the end it will be worth it. Everything I did, I did to make my dream come true. Countless hours spent at the library and countless cups of coffee. . Just hope it has been enough. All the roads I’ve taken has finally led me to this. Once again I find myself at a crossroad – this time I now which road I want to take. I just hope my efforts haven’t been in vain. I just hope my efforts have’t been for nothing. One week from now I’ll have my answer. The answer to my question. Will my dream come true?

Maybe I have hopes too high for life?
Maybe I expect too much?
Thinking, hoping and wishing
Dreams that will never come true.
I am a victim of my own mind
I am my worst critic.
I dream big and have high hopes
What if nothing works out?
Then again what if it does?
(2013)

It has always been the same dream…
I walk the streets with a book bag on my shoulder; music blasting in my ears. I’m on my way to the library; THE library.  Surrounded by books; old and new, the library has an atmosphere making you want to study – it’s motivating you. It’s where I belong. Finally, I’m home. After studying I’m once again walking the streets. I’m on my way to my favorite coffee shop in this town. It’s neither too big nor too small; just the right size. The waitress/waiter recognizes me and tells me my regular will be right up. I find a vacant seat by the window, find my book and disappear into a different world. Sometimes I would also write as I take in the world just outside the window. People hurrying by; some off to meetings, others talking on their phone. All of them drink their coffee on the go. Everyone is in a hurry. Not taking breaks. Not stopping for anything. They’re always on their way from something, to something else. They don’t stop for a second and just enjoy life. Listen to the silence.  My coffee arrives and I’m brought back to reality. I still can’t believe this is my life; how far I’ve come. I worked hard to get here, spent countless hours studying but for this it was all worth it. Trust me. It was worth because I get to live my dream. 

This isn’t my life, yet. It’s just a dream. It’s always just a dream. Always the same dream. Every time I wake up I’, back in my cold [messy] room. But I will live my dream. Someday I will wake up and my room will be in that town. I will walk those streets, drink that coffee and study at that library. Someday it won’t just be a dream. Someday it will be my life!

Uncategorized

May 12, 2014

I used to be angry at the world but it hadn’t done me any harm. I was angry for no reason. I let music dictate my mood. I didn’t exactly listen to heavy metal and smile. Nowadays I do. Listening to the same music now reminds me of how far I’ve come. The countless obstacles I’ve conquered along the way.

My heart and head wasn’t in it today. All I managed to accomplish was some half-hearted intervals on the treadmill before my energy ran out and my body gave up.

I think I have to power of persuasion.

Late at night I lie in bed and listen to the rain.  The gentle sound of rain hitting the window calms me down. Someone told me long ago, there’s a calm before the storm; I say there’s a calm during the storm. How I wish I could go for a run. But it’s a little too dark and a little too late. I should be asleep.

Maybe I’ll wish for rain tomorrow. Sing the opposite of Annie? The sun won’t come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be rain. Because then I can go out for a run in the rain. That’s life. That’s when all my troubles and worries magically disappear. Even if just for a little while.

Is it weird that I like the rain much better than the sun? That I like to run in rain instead of walking on sunshine? Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind a little sunshine either. But there will always be something special about the rain. Something magical. The rain has always held a special place in my heart. I have always loved the rain. I think there is some truth to the saying: you can’t have sunshine without a little rain. Or is it you can’t make a rainbow without a little rain?

Much has been said about rain. Countless research papers have much likely been written. And I get it; there is something about rain…