Scribblings

/ɪnˌfatʃʊˈeɪʃ(ə)n

Infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone [or something]. 

I could get lost in those eyes. When looking in my direction I’m secretly hoping they’re looking at me. And don’t forget that voice… Yup, she’s back! I’ve been down this road before… She’s found someone to rest her eyes upon during the lectures. She found him! Yet, then again… Why would he be single? He’s too handsome!

In the end, it doesn’t matter because I’ll only end up building a wall around myself. I’ll put my mask back on. Hide my vulnerability. Disguise that feeling I get in my body at all costs. Why do I still let love frighten me? Is it because I’ve been told too many times that I’m too ugly to be loved – too fat?

I wish I could describe your eyes. I wish I could tell you how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies and how your smile makes my heart skip a beat. I used to be invisible to the rest of the world. Then as if I was hit by lighting I decided it was time to take off my invisibility cloak. It was time to stop hiding.

From now on, I’m going to stop hating myself for what I’m not and start loving myself for who I am! I only wish I knew what he sees – if it is me he’s looking at…!?