Poem · Uncategorized

I have a dream

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now (Bill Cosby). Life waits for no one. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans (John Lennon). Hard work pays off. In the end it will be worth it. Everything I did, I did to make my dream come true. Countless hours spent at the library and countless cups of coffee. . Just hope it has been enough. All the roads I’ve taken has finally led me to this. Once again I find myself at a crossroad – this time I now which road I want to take. I just hope my efforts haven’t been in vain. I just hope my efforts have’t been for nothing. One week from now I’ll have my answer. The answer to my question. Will my dream come true?

Maybe I have hopes too high for life?
Maybe I expect too much?
Thinking, hoping and wishing
Dreams that will never come true.
I am a victim of my own mind
I am my worst critic.
I dream big and have high hopes
What if nothing works out?
Then again what if it does?
(2013)

It has always been the same dream…
I walk the streets with a book bag on my shoulder; music blasting in my ears. I’m on my way to the library; THE library.  Surrounded by books; old and new, the library has an atmosphere making you want to study – it’s motivating you. It’s where I belong. Finally, I’m home. After studying I’m once again walking the streets. I’m on my way to my favorite coffee shop in this town. It’s neither too big nor too small; just the right size. The waitress/waiter recognizes me and tells me my regular will be right up. I find a vacant seat by the window, find my book and disappear into a different world. Sometimes I would also write as I take in the world just outside the window. People hurrying by; some off to meetings, others talking on their phone. All of them drink their coffee on the go. Everyone is in a hurry. Not taking breaks. Not stopping for anything. They’re always on their way from something, to something else. They don’t stop for a second and just enjoy life. Listen to the silence.  My coffee arrives and I’m brought back to reality. I still can’t believe this is my life; how far I’ve come. I worked hard to get here, spent countless hours studying but for this it was all worth it. Trust me. It was worth because I get to live my dream. 

This isn’t my life, yet. It’s just a dream. It’s always just a dream. Always the same dream. Every time I wake up I’, back in my cold [messy] room. But I will live my dream. Someday I will wake up and my room will be in that town. I will walk those streets, drink that coffee and study at that library. Someday it won’t just be a dream. Someday it will be my life!

Uncategorized

Ignore him. Play it cool. Look down. If your eyes meet he will see everything. See your soul. Read you like an open book. Look away. He’s not worth it. He’ll eventually make you cry. They all will. There’s no hope for you; no one’s ever going to love you, your freckle face or your few extra pounds. That’s why you look down when they pass you on the street. Why you never look them in the eye at school. We’ve talked about this before. Don’t you remember? No worries. That’s what I’m here for; to remind you. How ugly you are. I’ll always remind you. You’ll never get rid of me. I’m here to haunt you for the rest of your life. There’s no escape. No way out. Just you and me, and don’t you dare shut me out. I always find ways to get back inside your head, you know that. I told you. There’s no way you can escape from me. 

Live for yourself and nobody else. This is your life; time to make the most of it; time to do what you love; time to stop overanalyzing. Well, well, look at that; the pessimist has become an optimist. Keep this up and I won’t be around for long. I only come around when you need me and now I sensed you needed someone to give you a kick in the ass.