pretty hurts

Oh… My aspiration in life… would be… to be happy.

Do we need extensions in our hair; fake nails; fake lashes and make-up to cover our flaws? Do we need a flat stomach; skinny thighs; perfect breasts; a golden tan? Magazine covers tell us we do. Models on the runway show us we do. All around you society tells you to be something you’re not. To fake your beauty.

What happened to natural beauty?

I used to be ashamed of my freckles. No one else seemed to have them; at least not as many as I did. People told me how cute freckles are. Wishing they had it. People today are envious that way; we want what we don’t have and what we have we don’t want. Today I’ve realized that the freckles will always be there in some shade or another. And I’m okay with that. My freckles are as much a part of me as anything else. The freckles make me who I am. My insecurities are not as bad as they used to be.

Why not celebrate the female imperfections? Why not make the imperfections perfect? Make your flaws your best feature. Because when it comes to humans there are no standard. Women and men come in different sizes and shapes. Why doesn’t the world of fashion and magazines illustrate that?

Instead of wondering if you’re good enough; think you’re worth it without even trying. We hide away who we really are. We leave our true self at home when walking out the door in the morning. We spend hours in front of the mirror covering our flaws with make-up and perfect our hair. We change our appearance and make ourselves unrecognizable. We push ourselves beyond our limits to get in shape and think too much about what we eat. It’s okay to be healthy but to it for yourself and not to fit society’s idea. All you want is to belong, so they’ll like you. But do you like yourself?  Do you like the person you’ve become?

Society puts too much pressure on women to be beautiful. Why should you care what they think of you?  Dare to be different.

Take your make-up off. Let your hair down. Take a breath. Look into the mirror, at yourself. Don’t you like you? ‘Cause I like you.

And keep in mind that laughter is the best medicine and, that a smile is the prettiest thing to wear. Remember that who you are on the inside is more important than the outside.


Take a walk,
Forget time and place
Walk over the bridge
Feel  fear fill your body
And the heart in your throat

Stop the thoughts
From running wild
Put on some music
And forget the world
Just for a little while

Let your mind go
To its happy place
Smile, please don’t cry
This life is not bad
It’s not bad at all

Let your shoulders down
You’re too young to worry
Forget your troubles
Things will fall into place
And don’t worry it will all be okay



First you’re going to smile.

But then what?

What to do next?


That’s the scary part.

Not knowing what will happen.  

What happens after the smile?


Will it be returned or will be it ignored?

Will your dreams be crushed?

Or will your dreams come true?


It’s time to take chances –  

Let down the wall

You need to open up and let people in

First you’re going to smile.

Take a chance –

See what happens 



I’m still a coward –

And a heartless bitch

I’m a heartbreaker,

I’m cold as ice

What am I afraid of?

What do I have to lose?

What do my eyes hide?

Can you see my soul?

I’m the great pretender

Pretending that I don’t care

Ignore you

When all I want is to meet your eyes

What am I afraid of?

What do I have to lose?

You were never mine

I have nothing to lose 

I’m arrogant; a coward; 

A heartless bitch

I’m afraid to fall 

But still, I want it all 




I tell myself to be brave.

I tell myself tomorrow is the day,

Then tomorrow comes

But I remain the coward I always have been –

Always will be:

I look at the ground; forget to smile.

Then I scream inside

Wishing I could punch myself

Asking myself why – why didn’t I?

I want to rewind

Get a second chance

And maybe, just maybe

I’ll finally get it right

But I won’t, I know I won’t

I doubt I ever will

It’s a vicious circle I find myself in,

I’ll never get it right.

Why do I never learn?

I’ll get a second chance tomorrow

At least I think I will.

But how many chances does a person get?

Someday it has to end, right?

I tell myself to be brave

I tell myself tomorrow is the day

When I’ll finally be brave

I won’t be a coward

I won’t look at the ground,

And I’m going to smile

Because tomorrow, I’ll be brave.



There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire; the other is to gain it.

Once again you’ve managed to get trapped and be fooled by love. You don’t understand why you never learn. All love has ever given you is heartache and tears; and plenty of walks in the rain – because then no one can see you’re crying. You ask yourself why you haven’t experienced the greatness of love yet; the excitement of being in love with someone who’s in love with you. Time after time you’ve given up on love but then as time goes by you find yourself back at the starting point. You think maybe it’s time you got out of the circle you find yourself in and find new ways to go.

Love has never been easy; not for anyone. It certainly has broken your heart a numerous times. So why do you always let love trap you? One reason is probably the feeling that comes with it; the feeling that you’re high on life. You smile all the time. You don’t eat because of the butterflies flying around in your stomach. You drag yourself to school because you might see him because seeing him makes your day. But it’s just a crush; nothing more and out of fear you won’t do anything about it. With your past in the back of your mind you don’t do anything about it. But one day might have changed it all. You find yourself in a situation. Studying in the library and suddenly he sits down above you. You look at him in secret when you know he’s not looking; you steal glances at him when he’s busy reading. The moment he looks up; you look away pretending you’re reading something important – something interesting.

He’s the one you told your friend looked too young. But as the day goes by his looks grows on you; he’s cute; seems like a nice person; doesn’t really look that young or maybe you’re blinded. He’s strong; tall. During the day you drink coffee; lots of coffee; strong coffee. It makes you feel drunk and apparently has the same effect on you as alcohol. You become brave. Your stares become longer. I’m a creep. I’m a weirdo. Then suddenly you stare a moment to long and your eyes meet. You quickly look down. But you’re not defeated. It happens again. But you forget to smile. It haunts your mind; your weird behavior.

Then Friday comes; you’re back at school. Coming back from lunch he walks by, turn his head and smile. You wish you had the power to rewind. Rewind and play it again; and again; and again. Maybe in slow motion; analyze where he was looking. Was he looking at you? Was his smile meant for you? Did you meet his eyes and smile back? Stop this. Just stop this. Stop this overanalyzing shit. Go back to studying. Get your mind over on something else. It was probably just a fraction of your imagination. You probably just saw what you wanted to see.