Some days people in general just annoy me. People who routinely slam the door shut when leaving or entering the hall. Especially, at five o’clock in the morning. People waiting for the bus but doesn’t move from where they’re standing to let other people pass. Come one people, the bus is huge and red, I don’t think you’re going to miss it. And it’s not going to drive past you if you move one or two steps.
Today, I’m a little bit angry at the world. Everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong this morning. That’s what happens when your woken up three hours before the alarm, just because people haven’t learned to close the door properly; just because some people think they’re the only one who live in this world. Therefore, I’ve decided to do exactly the same when I leave and enter the hall. I’m going to do it just because I can. And because I want to annoy people as much as they annoy me sometimes.
Other than that I’m pretty happy. I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Two weeks and three days; I can do it! Why can’t I do it? With a little hard work, long hours in the library, some more work before bedtime (the library is only open till 7 pm) and I’ll be fine. Really. So, what if I don’t have a social life in the following two weeks and three days. This has been the ultimate goal all along. I’d rather work hard and submit something I’m proud of – something I can stand for – instead of thinking I could have done more! As long as I get my coffee, I’ll be fine. Let’s do this.
I feel like shit but at least I feel something. I’m having one of those days. Those days where everything goes wrong and nothing feels right. But it doesn’t matter because I know it will pass. I got to keep on going, looking straight out on the road. There’s no use worrying about what lies behind me or what’s coming further up the road. Because I won’t take the easy road, I just won’t. Besides there’s nothing a little music can’t fix.
Whatever you’re facing, if your heart is breaking. There’s a promise for the ones who just hold on. Lift up your eyes and see the sun is rising.
I watched The Other Woman the other day. I liked it. A really feel-good movie. Funny too. I like movies and books which make me forget the world, even if it’s just for a little while. It’s my escape.
Someday, I’ll find the right words. I will belong or I will wander. Somewhere, over the mountain; under the great sky, I’ll be all right.
My favorite songs at the moment:
- Lily & Madeline – Sounds like Somewhere
- First Aid Kit – My Silver Lining
- Britt Nicole – The Sun is Rising
Work for a cause; not for applause. Live life to express; not to impress. Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams, or wake up and chase them.
June became July. July became august. Summer has literally flown by. There have been days spent in the sun, tanning on the beach and reading books. Reunion with old friends. Great food and drinks. Shopping in Copenhagen. Countless days with sun and hardly no days with rain. I can’t complain. It’s been a great summer even though the work side of it didn’t work out. I applied for several but didn’t hear from neither of them. It isn’t easy finding a job anymore. At least I tried. I made the best out of the situation. There was nothing else I could do.
August. Fear not, summer isn’t over yet. The weather continue to amaze me. The temperature is still holding up, the clouds are staying away (so is the rain), and the sun keeps on shining. Tonight I sat on the beach and just watched the sun set. Enjoying the peace and quiet. The quiet place. No music. No TV. No people. Only me, myself and I. The wind blowing gently in my hair, the sound of waves hitting the beach and the sun’s reflection in the water. A cruise ship on its way in the horizon. People going for a nightly swim, walk or run.
This summer as been a great one. And it’s been good not having any obligations. Pick myself up after a stressing and tough spring semester. It took its toll writing my bachelor thesis in addition to two classes. So June was mostly spent recharging. Sleeping and eating. Going for bike rides and runs in the woods. Then the calendar showed July and I went to Copenhagen for a few days with my mother. Got some shopping done. Then suddenly July was over and it was August. I have done more than what I’ve filled this paragraph with but nothing worth writing about I guess. My life is pretty uneventful like that. Still, it’s been a great summer.
Even though school doesn’t start until September, it’s back to reality. I’m looking forward to the future. A little bit frightening but mostly exiting. My dream is coming true. In September my dream will finally be my life. I’ve booked my flight ticket, I’ve put down a deposit on accommodation and I’ve started packing [mentally]. I can’t wait.
And though it’s been a great summer I can’t wait for fall. It’s the best of the four seasons. When the temperature drops and the leaves changes color. The wind gently biting your cheek. Well, guess there are still a few more summer days to enjoy before that.
I’ve read [so far] this summer:
- Started the Gone-series by Michael Grant. Read Gone and Hunger, started Lies.
- Then I took a break by reading The Fault in our Stars by Jonathan Green.
- I continued the break from the Gone-series by reading One Hundred Names by Cecilia Ahern and Doña Maria by Cecilia Samartin.
- The bookstore recommended the first book of the colonial nineteenth-century saga In the Land of the Long White Cloud. I also bought [and read] My Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty.
- And before going to bed tonight I’m finishing The Unseen by Katherine Webb.
… and then came the long-awaited rain.
Where did the summer go? The weather lately has been reminding more of fall with heavy rain, thunderstorms and wind. And it’s only a short week left. On Friday I head back to university. Two months have flown by, a little too fast if you ask me. But I’m not complaining. I have done so much; worked a lot, read a lot, drank a lot of coffee, saw Hangover Part III, drove around my hometown with and without purpose, went to Krakow with my mother, and made a new playlist. I’ve been to a tons of weddings; making desserts, plating and serving food, cleaning and carrying heavy boxes. I spent two weeks in preschool making new friends. Little people (kids), but nonetheless, I made new friends.
Krakow was amazing. I had so much fun. Good food; good drinks. Cheap beer; good beer. And a lot of shopping. We stayed at Andel’s Hotel the closest neighbor being Galeria Krakowska, a huge shopping mall, and it was only a short walk down to the market square. It’s been a while since I was abroad. Since I started studying four years ago I’ve spent my summers working. I did a lot of shopping; running shoes from Nike and they’re amazing, clothes, make-up, and perfume.
It’s been a while since the last time I felt inspired. Inspired to write, that is. I’m still not in a writer’s mood. There’s nothing stuck in my head; nothing to write down. Instead, I’ve been reading a lot. And I started running again after a few weeks where my energy level was at the bottom. And my motivation was lacking. Exercise wasn’t a priority. That changed after I found some new running shoes; that was all the motivation I needed. They had to be tested. My writing is a different matter. A small part of me feels there is something hiding underneath, waiting to see the light – waiting to be put on paper. But every time I’ve tried it only become one sentence or it doesn’t sound good, and it isn’t what was in my head. Instead, I’ve been reading a lot. To maybe find inspiration in others’ work. A lot might be an understatement, the past two weeks I’ve practically been reading one book a day, each book about 400-500 pages.
The plan was to go out for a run but it started to rain. I don’t like to run in rain. It makes me wet; makes the ground wet. So instead I’ll stay inside, drink some coffee, eat some chocolate and read a good book.
I feel so inspired these days. I can write for hours. I guess it’s been some time. Maybe it’s the change of location; maybe it’s the fact that I don’t have any finals to study for. I’m not complaining. It’s just a little weird, this sudden feeling of inspiration that seems to have hit me. There’s a story unfolding in my head. Don’t know if I’ll ever publish any of it here. But it’s a story of romance and finding yourself. Going from living life as a wallflower to living a life where people see you – a life where you hide away in the background but instead are visible. Making yourself heard above the noise of everyone else.
With coffee and dark chocolate today is a day best spent inside. Outside the weather reminds more of fall than summer. The wind is blowing in the trees; rain is falling from the sky. I finished my last final of the year only a week ago but it feels so much longer. I have done so much. Enjoyed good food, served at a wedding (for 10 hours), got a little tanned, bought new clothes – summer clothes, I’ve spent time relaxing – sleeping, reading novels, and I’ve polished plates, glasses and silverware.
It feels as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. There are no dark clouds hanging over me. Nothing I have to do; nothing I must do. Tuesday I felt I was in Downton Abbey polishing silverware, plates and glasses, all that was missing was the right fashion. The beautiful post-world war one fashion.
I guess things haven’t really changed. I still drink the same amount of coffee I did while studying for finals. I still read, only now I finally get to enjoy all the novels I’ve saved this semester. I got to read The Perks of being a Wallflower one more time (I’ve lost count how many times I’ve read it). But the story never seize to amaze me. It gets me every time. Charlie is such a magnificent character – a wallflower.
There’s a light drizzle in the air. Can’t the weather make up its mind? Either rain or let the sun shine.
I haven’t worked out in over a week and I don’t care. I haven’t had the time, it hasn’t been a priority of mine. I listened to my body and it needed relaxing. My knees needed to heal. Today I finally went for that run. I beat my time from last year. There has been progress since the beginning of last august.
Life is great.
I think this will be a great summer.